H50 Drabble: Equilibrium 1/1

[faye_dartmouth]

Title:  Equilibrium

Disclaimer:  Not mine.

A/N:  This is another drabble for hawaii_5_0_100 , with the prompt “wave.”  For whatever reason, it’s also something of a companion piece to my drabble from last week, The Hardest Part.  The two revolve around the same incident but are from different character’s POV in the aftermath.  Reading the first one may be helpful, but I don’t think it’s necessary.  Oh and if my description of surfing is completely bogus, that's because I have never been surfing.  I've been in the ocean maybe twice in my life, and both of those exposures were very limited, so I'm basing my understanding of it on what I've see on TV and movies.

A/N 2:  Thanks to sendintheklowns  for giving this a quick look for me.  After all this time, I feel like I’ve almost run out of ways to describe her awesomeness :)

Summary:  Kono tries to find her balance.

-o-

The Hardest Part series
The Hardest Part
Equilibrium
The Big Picture
Hold On

-o-

Kono learned to walk on dry land but she came to life catching a wave. 

The feeling of the board beneath her feet, the spray of water in her face, the pounding of the surf crashing at her back:  these things define her.  Salt water runs through her veins, lapping on her soul like a gentle tide on the beach.

Surfing isn’t about control; it’s not even about thrill-seeking.  It’s about balance.  She can’t control a wave.  But if she calms and listens, she can rise up with it and ride it out until it washes away once more.

After her injury, it was hard to let go, but surfing isn’t about trophies.  Becoming a cop was an easy second choice, but police work is about control, order.  It’s important, but it never really makes sense.

Innocent people die.  Criminals get away.  Good cops get blacklisted.  Sometimes everything she has isn’t enough.

Today it wasn’t enough.

She knows; she remembers.

One second, Danny was moving forward; the next, he was on the ground.  Like a stiff current pulling her under, Kono couldn’t do anything to stop it.

Steve hasn’t left the hospital; Chin won’t leave the office.  This is how they cope, how they find order.  Steve has to take responsibility for his team and won’t walk out until he knows Danny’s okay.  Chin has to do his job, because in his hour of need, no one fought for him, and Chin will not let Danny’s sacrifice be in vain.

But Kono can’t wait at the hospital.  She can’t work at the station.  There is no order to find there, only more chaos.  None of it will help Danny, and she likes to think if anyone would understand why she’s here, it would be Danny.

Because life is for living.  When things fall apart, some constants remain.  The love of a father for a daughter.  The dedication of a partner.  The persistence in getting the job done.

The constant pull of the water, making one wave after another.

On her stomach, Kono lets the water wash away Danny’s blood from her hands.  She closes her eyes, waves rolling under her. 

She tries not to remember Danny’s pale face or the pooled blood he left behind. 

Instead, she remembers him wearing his tie, talking with his hands.  She remembers his smile and the tone of his voice when he’s working up a good rant.

She feels the next wave as it comes, and it’s instinct as she shifts her body up.  By the time she’s on her feet, the wave is coming harder.  She bears down, searching for her equilibrium.

It’s a good wave.  Strong but steady, surging forward and rippling.  When it dissipates, she lets herself wash ashore, trying to assure herself that there was nothing she could have done, that it will all work out.

This is just another wave, bigger than most, but if she can ride it out, they’ll all still be standing when it’s over.

Comments

[moogsthewriter.livejournal.com]

It's amazing to me how you're able to capture these characters so well. Seriously. This is just absolutely perfect. Of course Kono would find her solace in surfing. And she's wise when it comes to thinking about life and embracing the moment, but still clings to that (sometimes naive) belief that if she stays strong and steady, things will turn out right.

And I love how she reads her team so well. That line about Chin was especially poignant. (Wouldn't mind seeing one from his point of view now... ;) She's the rookie, but she knows how to read people better than most anyone around her, I do believe.

So again, so much love for this, as is usual with your fics. :D <3

[faye-dartmouth.livejournal.com]

You're always very kind :) It's always fun, though, learning new characters. This team has become solidified in my head rather quickly, and I'm really enjoying writing them.

Kono seems to be someone who can redefine herself--as was pointed out by Chin in the Pilot--and she seems ready to keep pushing her boundaries even though she's not quite sure what to expect.

I suspect I'll do a Chin POV on this--maybe with whatever next week's prompt is. And someday I'd like to go into detail about what actually happened, but that's just one bunny of many on my ever-growing list.

Anyway, thanks!

[mystizan.livejournal.com]

ITA.

[faye-dartmouth.livejournal.com]

:) You're very kind. Thanks!

[lillyg.livejournal.com]

Really well done!

[faye-dartmouth.livejournal.com]

Thanks! And btw, thanks for your work as a mod on the comm--it's great how consistently you support writers :)

[lillyg.livejournal.com]

Aww! Thanks!

it's great how consistently you support writers :)

Tell me about it, I'm handling flashpoint_sru for the awesome show Flashpoint mostly alone, even if there isn't much posted on the comm now, and now I'm maintainer of hawaii_bigbang

[serenity-pen.livejournal.com]

This was beautifully written. You stayed true to the characters and the image you created was wonderful. This is how you would expect Kono to react and how you would expect her to handle the emotional need to connect with the waves to bring back her center/calm. I like how you had Kono feel that Danny would understand that this is the way Kono needed to react. Very nicely written.

[faye-dartmouth.livejournal.com]

I'm glad it seemed in character for Kono--I don't have as strong of handle on her as I do Steve and Danny, so I was worried :)

Thanks!

[jessnick05.livejournal.com]

I am happy to see Kono fic and I really enjoyed this. A nice Kono POV and I can believe that surfing would be a way for her to steady herself....searching for her equilibrium like you wrote.

[faye-dartmouth.livejournal.com]

Kono isn't the character that calls to me the most in writing, but she was fun to explore for this snippet :)

Thanks!

[gemspegasus.livejournal.com]

Yay for Kono fic. Adore how Kono finds her balance through surfing. :) You have got a wonderful read on all the characters. I love how Kono thinks about all of them and their individual reactions fit each character perfectly. Thanks for sharing this with us.

take care
hugs
Angela

[faye-dartmouth.livejournal.com]

I've really enjoyed getting to know these characters--so I'm glad other people have as well :)

Thanks!

[gemspegasus.livejournal.com]

You're welcome.

You make it a pleasure getting to know these characters.

Thank you for sharing your wonderful fics with us.

take care
hugs
Angela

[purple-spock.livejournal.com]

Part two! So from the beginning "Kono learned to walk on dry land but she came to life catching a wave." to the end "This is just another wave, bigger than most, but if she can ride it out, they’ll all still be standing when it’s over." I really loved this one, it was poetic, and these two lines especially really stuck with me. Looking forward to the next part! : D

[faye-dartmouth.livejournal.com]

Writing Kono can be kind of intimidating sometimes, since her voice isn't as clearly defined, but this was a fun venture. Thanks!