faye_dartmouth (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
faye_dartmouth) wrote2021-12-07 04:36 pm
faye_dartmouth) wrote2021-12-07 04:36 pm
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Chicago Med/Chicago PD fic: The Ends and Means (2/2)
Continued from PART ONE
-o-
Jay got them clear of the hospital, and he got Wendell back to his current craphole apartment. It wasn’t the same as the safe house, but even crazy people liked privacy sometimes.
He made sure the place was secure, and he got Wendell some food. Then, when he was adequately fed, Jay talked him into going to bed with a promise that he’d be back first thing in the morning so they could regroup.
Wendell was clearly spent after the day they’d had, and he obliged willingly. He even grinned at Jay before he left. “That was a good a day,” he announced fondly.
Jay did his best not to scoff, because the asshole was being sincere. A shootout, a bleeding wound, and an unconscious redhead doctor, and Wendell sounded more sincere than ever.
Jay, however, knew his part. He understood it better than he liked. Split knuckles and an aching fist. He forced a smile. “It certainly was memorable.”
“I knew I could trust you,” he said. “People thought I was crazy, taking you in. So close to a meet. But whatever. I can count on you. Anyone who will lay out a redhead, is someone who I can trust.”
That was truly awful logic, but Jay wasn’t here for logic. He was here to do the job, play the mark, finish the case.
Those ends.
These means.
“Anything for the job,” Jay assured him. “You can count on me for that.”
-o-
He was supposed to check in with Voight, first thing, no debate. But Jay didn’t care.
He made a beeline back to Med.
Maggie gave him a grave look, but directed him back to the exam room where Jay had left his brother. He banged inside, breathless. Part of him feared the worst.
But nit everything was a worst case scenario.
Will was there all right.
Sitting upright in the bed, ice pack to his cheek. He actually looked sheepish instead of hurt, which only made Jay’s stomach churn harder.
“Damn it,” he said, approaching the bedside with a frown. “I’m sorry.”
"What? For this?" Will asked dismissively. He might have seemed convincing if not for his swollen face. He lifted the ice pack as if to minimize Jay’s worry. It did little to assuage anything, even as Will shrugged. "You barely touched me."
Jay found himself incredulous. "You went down like a stack of bricks. Tell me they checked you out."
Will looked perturbed, but not for his injury. Jay's concern seemed to bother him more.
Irrationality. A trait of criminals and doctors alike.
"Don’t flatter yourself," Will said stubbornly. "I’m fine."
Jay had jumped through too many hoops these days. He didn't have the patience for this. "Will."
The bluntness cut through Will’s attempts at deflection. It left him exasperated. “Yes, they checked me out,” he said, as though the process put him out. For as much of the time Will chided Jay for resisting treatment, Will was just as bad. If not worse, because he knew better. “They even ran a head CT, which was totally pointless. I’m fine.”
It made Jay feel a little better, at least. But, admittedly, it didn’t help much. “I didn’t want to do it.”
The insistence seemed to exasperate his brother even more. As blindly unreasonable as he could be about some things, his brother was capable of understanding the most impossible things. "Jay, I get it, you were undercover," he said. "There was a reason it was me in there and no one else. I wanted it that way."
"So I could clock you?" Jay asked sharply, his voice thick with his own guilt.
Will still would have none of it. "So I could be your buffer," he said, as if it were totally sensible. "I knew it could go bad, so if I could protect you I would. And I would do it again in a heartbeat."
It sounded more sensible than Jay wanted to admit. Relatable, just like it should be with brothers.
That unnerved him.
It also confirmed him.
Family was such a contradiction. Couldn't live with it but he sure as hell couldn't live without it.
And what did he say to that? What was he supposed to do?
Jay was at a loss this time, but Will didn't seem to be. He inclined his head, almost smiling. "Besides, I know you too well. I know how well you throw a punch. That wasn’t your best and we both know it. You pulled that punch, and we both know it."
Jay blushed a little, but he had no way to deny it. He didn't even want to. "Well, I want to protect you too, I had to do something or Wendell was going to do it himself."
Will scoffed a little, a bemused action without humor. "And I’m guessing he doesn’t pull punches."
Jay scoffed too, even more pronounced. "No, he likes murder for fun," he quipped. "Assault is small potatoes."
Will didn't doubt him. He looked just vaguely chagrined. "So this could have been worse. A lot worse."
The out was too flippant. "And it could have been better."
Will’s lips turned up ruefully. "Sounds like the story of our lives."
Jay found that he could not help but return the smile. Just as rueful. Just as real. "I guess it does."
"And for the record," Will added. "I’m still glad it was me."
It was a relief, somehow. It was reassurance. It was everything he'd always wanted brotherhood to be. "Thanks, Will."
And Will’s reply came without hesitation, without doubt. "Always."
-o-
Ends and means, then.
The means sucked.
But the end.
Jay was in this till the end.
And he knew, without a doubt, his brother was too. In a job where everything changed, in a life where you couldn't count on much, Jay found comfort in that.
It turned out, you could get to any end.
As long as family was your means.
-o-
So Jay, his frustration and annoyance aside, went back to Wendell to finish the job. He’d come this far. He didn’t want it to all be in vain. Not his sacrifice. Not Will’s.
Committed as he was, it wasn’t easy. Being around Wendell had grown nearly unbearable,especially since he was expected to play the dutiful right hand man. He had to laugh at the jokes. He had to humor the stories. He had to laud the opinions.
The means, this time, had to justify the end.
-o-
And Jay did it.
If he could hit his brother and leave him out cold, then he could see through the rest. He made sure Wendell was ready for his meet with Ruiz, and he went above and beyond to make sure all the pieces were in place for the raid.
The final execution was chaotic and dangerous, and only with Jay’s planning was he able to ensure that no one else got hurt. In fact, he set everything up so perfectly that the whole operation fell like dominoes in a hail of brief yelling and momentary gunfire. Ruiz went down kicking and screaming, but Wendell howled like a stray dog, and when he realized he’d been set up, his surprise was a testament to how far Jay had been willing to go.
It was also a testament to just how stupid the man was.
Because Jay was good, sure.
But Wendell was such an idiot.
"I thought we were friends!" Wendell squawked in genuine dismay. "What about the doctor! We bonded with the doctor!"
His abject betrayal might have been sympathetic were Jay not an employee with two mere weeks of experience. Also, Wendell’s appeal toward a shared assault just didn't have the depth he wanted.
Also, Jay's cover was blown. He didn't have to pretend anymore.
And he wasn't about to.
All this time, playing by Wendell’s rules. Jay's done.
He's 100 percent done.
"Yeah, that wasn't bonding, that was assault," Jay told him. "If I weren't a professional, I'd do for you one worse than the doctor."
Wendell looked horrified. "You mean you don't mind redheads?"
"Redheads are fine," Jay said with a shrug. "I'm just not so keen on crazy asshole criminals."
Wendell protested, his demeanor suddenly grave. "You mean it was all an act?" he cried.
"Just a means to an end, buddy," Jay said, patting him on the shoulder. "Means to an end."
-o-
When Wendell was loaded up and crime scene processing kicked in, Voight found Jay watching. His approach was understated, but it wasn’t casual. It was very Voight, to be sure, and Jay had respected Voight, but he knew who the man was.
More than that, he knew who he was now.
He knew Voight had his boundaries, but the lines that mattered were his own.
“This was good work,” he said, nodding at Jay.
The statement wasn’t merely observational. It was a judgement.
To hell with that. Jay smirked. “Yeah,” he said. “It was.”
Voight looked at him, clearly assessing the nuance of his agreement. He understood, then. They both did.
But Voight would take it for granted. He would let it go unsaid and use the silence to his advantage. Jay had ceded many things for this man.
But not this.
“It wasn’t easy,” Jay added.
Voight made a small frown. “It isn’t supposed to be. You still pulled it off.”
Jay was still nodding. “I know,” he said. Voight wasn’t going to say it. No explanations. No apologies.
Ruiz was in custody. Wendell had been arrested. Somewhere, on the other side of Chicago, his brother was nursing a black eye that could have been so much worse.
And Voight wanted to stand there.
Jay needed to say it.
“You never should have put my brother in danger,” Jay said, looking at his boss with a clarity that surprised him.
Voight, if surprised, didn’t show it. “For the record, he volunteered.”
The point was valid. Will had confirmed it, as if Jay might have doubted it. No, he knew his brother. An asshole, an idiot, the jerk who always left when he needed to stay.
The moron who always stayed when he should have left.
That made Jay’s point all the more important. “Will doesn’t know what he’s getting into. Police stuff, he’s got no concept,” he said. “You can’t count that as informed consent. If anything, it’s coercion. Float family in front of him, he’s going to do the right thing every time. This time, he got him a shiner. Next time, he might not be so lucky.”
Voight took that point, just slightly tipping his head to the side. “It had to be someone. Someone we could trust. I told you, the case—“
“Is mine. I gave you my life, my time, myself,” he said. “I followed every order, endured every hardship. I’ll give you every part of myself, but you don’t get to take Will. Never again. Do you understand?”
The threat wasn’t one he’d defined. He’d not even been able to.
It’s implications, however, we’re clear enough.
The job could take everything from people, and Jay had conceded a lot to it already. But not his brother. Not Will.
Voight studied him, as if gauging just how serious Jay was. Finding him unyielding, Voight finally nodded. “Not Will,” he agreed. “As long as you keep doing the job.”
Jay snorted, more bitter than sweet. “I think I’ve already proved that to you.”
Voight nodded. “Yeah,” he said. “I guess you have.”
Now, it felt done.
Now, it felt like a job well done.
-o-
There was paperwork, sure, but Jay had put his life on hold for Wendell. The job could stay on hold until he came into work tomorrow. He gave his statement, signed a few forms, yet he slipped away while the team continued processing.
Jay called up his brother instead and asked if he was free.
“For you?” Will said, and for the first time in Jay’s life, he believed his brother completely. Will had proven himself. Jay had proven himself. “Of course.”
-o-
They met at Molly’s, and Jay was there waiting when Will managed to swing by after work. Will looked wiped after a long day, and the bruising around his eye looked even worse than before as the marks deepened and settled. The swelling had abated, but it still made Jay cringe.
Will, however, greeted him with a smile.
“Hey!” Will said, taking his seat. “The case is done? Your cover is over?”
“Yeah,” Jay said. He did his best not to focus on Will’s eye. “Just got it done.”
“And your friend Mr. Jones?” Will asked.
Jay chuffed. “Alive, thanks to you,” he said. He shrugged. “Arrested, thanks to me.”
Will grinned at him. “Congratulations,” he said. “I’m surprised you’re here then. I would imagine you want to go home, unwind.”
That much was true, but Jay shook his head. “I’ll get there,” he said. “But I wanted to buy you a drink.”
Will looked surprised. “Me? I came here to buy you one after the few weeks you’ve had. You deserve a reward.”
Jay swatted his hand through the air. “That’s my job,” he said. “Taking a punch, though, that’s not yours.”
Will made a face. “The ED is a crazy place,” he said. “I’ve gone through a lot worse for a lot less.”
“Still,” Jay said. “Let me have this one.”
Will gave him a quizzical look, but finally he nodded. He understood. “Okay,” he said. “If it makes you feel better.”
“Being here with you makes me feel better,” Jay said in honest relief. “No pulling punches now.”
Jay snorted. “No pulling punches between us ever again.”
Will smiled again, the bruised eye crinkling painfully.
“I’ll go get us some beers,” Jay said.
“And I’ll be right here,” Will promised.
Jay got up, heading to the bar. A drink for him. A drink for his brother. Voight was still on the scene. Wendell was in jail. Will had a black eye, but he was here.
He was still here.
The ends, after all, weren’t always so bad.
-o-
Jay got them clear of the hospital, and he got Wendell back to his current craphole apartment. It wasn’t the same as the safe house, but even crazy people liked privacy sometimes.
He made sure the place was secure, and he got Wendell some food. Then, when he was adequately fed, Jay talked him into going to bed with a promise that he’d be back first thing in the morning so they could regroup.
Wendell was clearly spent after the day they’d had, and he obliged willingly. He even grinned at Jay before he left. “That was a good a day,” he announced fondly.
Jay did his best not to scoff, because the asshole was being sincere. A shootout, a bleeding wound, and an unconscious redhead doctor, and Wendell sounded more sincere than ever.
Jay, however, knew his part. He understood it better than he liked. Split knuckles and an aching fist. He forced a smile. “It certainly was memorable.”
“I knew I could trust you,” he said. “People thought I was crazy, taking you in. So close to a meet. But whatever. I can count on you. Anyone who will lay out a redhead, is someone who I can trust.”
That was truly awful logic, but Jay wasn’t here for logic. He was here to do the job, play the mark, finish the case.
Those ends.
These means.
“Anything for the job,” Jay assured him. “You can count on me for that.”
-o-
He was supposed to check in with Voight, first thing, no debate. But Jay didn’t care.
He made a beeline back to Med.
Maggie gave him a grave look, but directed him back to the exam room where Jay had left his brother. He banged inside, breathless. Part of him feared the worst.
But nit everything was a worst case scenario.
Will was there all right.
Sitting upright in the bed, ice pack to his cheek. He actually looked sheepish instead of hurt, which only made Jay’s stomach churn harder.
“Damn it,” he said, approaching the bedside with a frown. “I’m sorry.”
"What? For this?" Will asked dismissively. He might have seemed convincing if not for his swollen face. He lifted the ice pack as if to minimize Jay’s worry. It did little to assuage anything, even as Will shrugged. "You barely touched me."
Jay found himself incredulous. "You went down like a stack of bricks. Tell me they checked you out."
Will looked perturbed, but not for his injury. Jay's concern seemed to bother him more.
Irrationality. A trait of criminals and doctors alike.
"Don’t flatter yourself," Will said stubbornly. "I’m fine."
Jay had jumped through too many hoops these days. He didn't have the patience for this. "Will."
The bluntness cut through Will’s attempts at deflection. It left him exasperated. “Yes, they checked me out,” he said, as though the process put him out. For as much of the time Will chided Jay for resisting treatment, Will was just as bad. If not worse, because he knew better. “They even ran a head CT, which was totally pointless. I’m fine.”
It made Jay feel a little better, at least. But, admittedly, it didn’t help much. “I didn’t want to do it.”
The insistence seemed to exasperate his brother even more. As blindly unreasonable as he could be about some things, his brother was capable of understanding the most impossible things. "Jay, I get it, you were undercover," he said. "There was a reason it was me in there and no one else. I wanted it that way."
"So I could clock you?" Jay asked sharply, his voice thick with his own guilt.
Will still would have none of it. "So I could be your buffer," he said, as if it were totally sensible. "I knew it could go bad, so if I could protect you I would. And I would do it again in a heartbeat."
It sounded more sensible than Jay wanted to admit. Relatable, just like it should be with brothers.
That unnerved him.
It also confirmed him.
Family was such a contradiction. Couldn't live with it but he sure as hell couldn't live without it.
And what did he say to that? What was he supposed to do?
Jay was at a loss this time, but Will didn't seem to be. He inclined his head, almost smiling. "Besides, I know you too well. I know how well you throw a punch. That wasn’t your best and we both know it. You pulled that punch, and we both know it."
Jay blushed a little, but he had no way to deny it. He didn't even want to. "Well, I want to protect you too, I had to do something or Wendell was going to do it himself."
Will scoffed a little, a bemused action without humor. "And I’m guessing he doesn’t pull punches."
Jay scoffed too, even more pronounced. "No, he likes murder for fun," he quipped. "Assault is small potatoes."
Will didn't doubt him. He looked just vaguely chagrined. "So this could have been worse. A lot worse."
The out was too flippant. "And it could have been better."
Will’s lips turned up ruefully. "Sounds like the story of our lives."
Jay found that he could not help but return the smile. Just as rueful. Just as real. "I guess it does."
"And for the record," Will added. "I’m still glad it was me."
It was a relief, somehow. It was reassurance. It was everything he'd always wanted brotherhood to be. "Thanks, Will."
And Will’s reply came without hesitation, without doubt. "Always."
-o-
Ends and means, then.
The means sucked.
But the end.
Jay was in this till the end.
And he knew, without a doubt, his brother was too. In a job where everything changed, in a life where you couldn't count on much, Jay found comfort in that.
It turned out, you could get to any end.
As long as family was your means.
-o-
So Jay, his frustration and annoyance aside, went back to Wendell to finish the job. He’d come this far. He didn’t want it to all be in vain. Not his sacrifice. Not Will’s.
Committed as he was, it wasn’t easy. Being around Wendell had grown nearly unbearable,especially since he was expected to play the dutiful right hand man. He had to laugh at the jokes. He had to humor the stories. He had to laud the opinions.
The means, this time, had to justify the end.
-o-
And Jay did it.
If he could hit his brother and leave him out cold, then he could see through the rest. He made sure Wendell was ready for his meet with Ruiz, and he went above and beyond to make sure all the pieces were in place for the raid.
The final execution was chaotic and dangerous, and only with Jay’s planning was he able to ensure that no one else got hurt. In fact, he set everything up so perfectly that the whole operation fell like dominoes in a hail of brief yelling and momentary gunfire. Ruiz went down kicking and screaming, but Wendell howled like a stray dog, and when he realized he’d been set up, his surprise was a testament to how far Jay had been willing to go.
It was also a testament to just how stupid the man was.
Because Jay was good, sure.
But Wendell was such an idiot.
"I thought we were friends!" Wendell squawked in genuine dismay. "What about the doctor! We bonded with the doctor!"
His abject betrayal might have been sympathetic were Jay not an employee with two mere weeks of experience. Also, Wendell’s appeal toward a shared assault just didn't have the depth he wanted.
Also, Jay's cover was blown. He didn't have to pretend anymore.
And he wasn't about to.
All this time, playing by Wendell’s rules. Jay's done.
He's 100 percent done.
"Yeah, that wasn't bonding, that was assault," Jay told him. "If I weren't a professional, I'd do for you one worse than the doctor."
Wendell looked horrified. "You mean you don't mind redheads?"
"Redheads are fine," Jay said with a shrug. "I'm just not so keen on crazy asshole criminals."
Wendell protested, his demeanor suddenly grave. "You mean it was all an act?" he cried.
"Just a means to an end, buddy," Jay said, patting him on the shoulder. "Means to an end."
-o-
When Wendell was loaded up and crime scene processing kicked in, Voight found Jay watching. His approach was understated, but it wasn’t casual. It was very Voight, to be sure, and Jay had respected Voight, but he knew who the man was.
More than that, he knew who he was now.
He knew Voight had his boundaries, but the lines that mattered were his own.
“This was good work,” he said, nodding at Jay.
The statement wasn’t merely observational. It was a judgement.
To hell with that. Jay smirked. “Yeah,” he said. “It was.”
Voight looked at him, clearly assessing the nuance of his agreement. He understood, then. They both did.
But Voight would take it for granted. He would let it go unsaid and use the silence to his advantage. Jay had ceded many things for this man.
But not this.
“It wasn’t easy,” Jay added.
Voight made a small frown. “It isn’t supposed to be. You still pulled it off.”
Jay was still nodding. “I know,” he said. Voight wasn’t going to say it. No explanations. No apologies.
Ruiz was in custody. Wendell had been arrested. Somewhere, on the other side of Chicago, his brother was nursing a black eye that could have been so much worse.
And Voight wanted to stand there.
Jay needed to say it.
“You never should have put my brother in danger,” Jay said, looking at his boss with a clarity that surprised him.
Voight, if surprised, didn’t show it. “For the record, he volunteered.”
The point was valid. Will had confirmed it, as if Jay might have doubted it. No, he knew his brother. An asshole, an idiot, the jerk who always left when he needed to stay.
The moron who always stayed when he should have left.
That made Jay’s point all the more important. “Will doesn’t know what he’s getting into. Police stuff, he’s got no concept,” he said. “You can’t count that as informed consent. If anything, it’s coercion. Float family in front of him, he’s going to do the right thing every time. This time, he got him a shiner. Next time, he might not be so lucky.”
Voight took that point, just slightly tipping his head to the side. “It had to be someone. Someone we could trust. I told you, the case—“
“Is mine. I gave you my life, my time, myself,” he said. “I followed every order, endured every hardship. I’ll give you every part of myself, but you don’t get to take Will. Never again. Do you understand?”
The threat wasn’t one he’d defined. He’d not even been able to.
It’s implications, however, we’re clear enough.
The job could take everything from people, and Jay had conceded a lot to it already. But not his brother. Not Will.
Voight studied him, as if gauging just how serious Jay was. Finding him unyielding, Voight finally nodded. “Not Will,” he agreed. “As long as you keep doing the job.”
Jay snorted, more bitter than sweet. “I think I’ve already proved that to you.”
Voight nodded. “Yeah,” he said. “I guess you have.”
Now, it felt done.
Now, it felt like a job well done.
-o-
There was paperwork, sure, but Jay had put his life on hold for Wendell. The job could stay on hold until he came into work tomorrow. He gave his statement, signed a few forms, yet he slipped away while the team continued processing.
Jay called up his brother instead and asked if he was free.
“For you?” Will said, and for the first time in Jay’s life, he believed his brother completely. Will had proven himself. Jay had proven himself. “Of course.”
-o-
They met at Molly’s, and Jay was there waiting when Will managed to swing by after work. Will looked wiped after a long day, and the bruising around his eye looked even worse than before as the marks deepened and settled. The swelling had abated, but it still made Jay cringe.
Will, however, greeted him with a smile.
“Hey!” Will said, taking his seat. “The case is done? Your cover is over?”
“Yeah,” Jay said. He did his best not to focus on Will’s eye. “Just got it done.”
“And your friend Mr. Jones?” Will asked.
Jay chuffed. “Alive, thanks to you,” he said. He shrugged. “Arrested, thanks to me.”
Will grinned at him. “Congratulations,” he said. “I’m surprised you’re here then. I would imagine you want to go home, unwind.”
That much was true, but Jay shook his head. “I’ll get there,” he said. “But I wanted to buy you a drink.”
Will looked surprised. “Me? I came here to buy you one after the few weeks you’ve had. You deserve a reward.”
Jay swatted his hand through the air. “That’s my job,” he said. “Taking a punch, though, that’s not yours.”
Will made a face. “The ED is a crazy place,” he said. “I’ve gone through a lot worse for a lot less.”
“Still,” Jay said. “Let me have this one.”
Will gave him a quizzical look, but finally he nodded. He understood. “Okay,” he said. “If it makes you feel better.”
“Being here with you makes me feel better,” Jay said in honest relief. “No pulling punches now.”
Jay snorted. “No pulling punches between us ever again.”
Will smiled again, the bruised eye crinkling painfully.
“I’ll go get us some beers,” Jay said.
“And I’ll be right here,” Will promised.
Jay got up, heading to the bar. A drink for him. A drink for his brother. Voight was still on the scene. Wendell was in jail. Will had a black eye, but he was here.
He was still here.
The ends, after all, weren’t always so bad.